it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
