it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
