Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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