i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
