We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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