I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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