I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
and i looked up. we had an audience...
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
