Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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