I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
