I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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