Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
