Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
