I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
soo... how was my night?
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