I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize