..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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