fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
