Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My penis needs a shock collar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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