what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
