I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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