THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Randomize
