Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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