either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize