Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
