YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We're too hungover to prance.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize