Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
