Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize