why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
