he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
