Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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