Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
