my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Watching her eat just hurts me
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
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