I'm eating all of the evidence.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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