i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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