it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
wow bdsm is so cute
The air taste purple.
Randomize
