he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize