What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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