So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
