to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize