I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
