do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just pee around me
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
