Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
