Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
