"it" just moved
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
