My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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