Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
