At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
my being single is dangerous.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
