If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
