God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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