Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize