I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
We are two peas in an std pod
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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