She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
