too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize