Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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