Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
