Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize