Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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